The Return of the Living Dead

When I first watched Return of the Living Dead I had already seen thesequels and I wasn’t really expecting a lot of this one. When I gotdone watching it I realized I just lost an hour and a half of my life.Then I got mad. First of all, the actors sucked. I thought they werejust stupid no talented morons. Second there was the fact it was a slapin the face to the zombie master George A. Romero (Night of the LivingDead, Dawn of the Dead, Day of the Dead, Land of the Dead) Zombies aresupposed to die when they get their head or brain destroyed and in thisthey completely destroyed this zombie, cut his head off, caught him onfire and he still came back. Then there was the fact they could thinkand make decisions and talk. That was stupid. I said this to a friendonce and he said it ignored the Romero classics because it had nothingto do with them. THEN WHY IS IT CALLED RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD???It’s just a cheap spin off to get some fast cash. As a horror moviewasn’t scary at all, and as a comedy it wasn’t funny at all. The onlything funny or scary about this movie is the idiot who would spend goodmoney on it. Forget this. If you want to rent a zombie movie, rent aRomero movie or Resident Evil.

Since this was a horror comedy hybrid, I won’t bash a lot of the moviefor being plain stupid. It also explains why there wasn’t really anyscary moments. It is a spoof on zombie movies. So if you’re expecting atrue horror movie, you are not going to get it here.

I really appreciated the special effects. There were graphic shots ofpeople eating brains and chewing into skulls. This is really the onlythe reason why I gave this movie any points. That and Clu Gulager whoplayed Burt Wilson. His sloppy speech and Member’s Only jacket were theonly things that were really funny.

As for the zombies, there were retarded and lame. I really didn’t laughor chuckle at them. My reaction was more nonchalant than anything else.

The acting is abysmal. I don’t want to be too hard on Linnea Quigley,but her acting can best be described as completely awful. Her role,like every role she’s ever had, is to run around naked. Did I mentionthis was one of the reasons why I gave this movie points? If I didn’t,I should have.

The ending was perhaps one of the worst I can think of. The specialeffects on the shot was laughable. Not funny, just stupid.

Overall this movie is OK. For 80’s zombie flicks, it has to beconsidered and acknowledged for what it was. A lighthearted zombieflick with good special effects, bad story, bad acting and LinneaQuigley running around naked.

This is a truly bad film, full of bad dialogue and bad 80’s costumes, butit’s not so horrible that it isn’t enjoyable to some extent. Rather than behorrified when dozens of zombies jump on the unsuspecting, I found it to bepretty hilarious. The factors that made this film even remotely crediblewere the halfway decent effects and makeup. The guy that a friend of mineand I referred to as `The Party Zombie’ for no particular reason whatsoeverpretty much makes the film, although we couldn’t really understand how thiszombie with no skin could have such a perfect tongue.

Anyway, this is a tough review to write because it was a film that was botha comedy and a horror film, but ultimately it does not pretend to takeitself seriously, which is a plus in this situation.

–Shelly

I give this my personal highest rating for bad horror movies: 4 out of10 stars. There are many movies worse than this (titanic for example),this was directed decently, I must say. Some of the actors I reallyhated, a lot, but Linnea Quigley who is naked for most of the movie ispretty funny. This movie is not scary at all, and some of the zombiesare just, well too campy and stupid, especially the yellow one. Oh! Andif you call the 1800 # they show on the barrell that contains thatposion military gas that turns people into the zombies, its a phone sexnumber! The zombies calling for more paramedics and cops to eat waspretty funny.

I read so many good reviews of this movie, I thought I’d love it for sure.But when I watched it, I found it very boring, except for a few reallygreattouches (especially the panting bisected dog, and when the paramedic istackled). It could have been really scary, but was played too much forlaughs.

Employees of a medical supply warehouse accidentally release some gasthat brings a corpse back to life. When they burned it, the ashes coverthe nearby graveyard bringing back the dead.

This is one really fun and entertaining movie and hailed as one of thegreat black comedies of the horror genre. Though it had its fair shareof laughs, but I didn’t find it that funny as its claimed to be…enjoyable yeah, but really funny *hmm* it had its moments.

The direction was good and the story is smartly well written by DanO’Bannon (Alien, total recall), as its really just a parody of ‘TheNight of the Living Dead’ film, but with changes added in like thezombies can talk, they run, can use equipment, only eating brains andcan only be destroyed by being incinerated. Though in ROLD the storyamusedly has that Romero’s Night of the living dead film was actuallybased on fact.

The acting is great and because of that the characters are prettylikable, Clu Gulager, James Karen, Don Calfa, Thom Mathews and BeverlyRandolph bring a lot fun to their performances and you got anothernotable performance from Linnea Quigley running around the graveyardwearing only leg-warmers! There is a lot of humour and gore in thistrendy film, with a slow opening that picks up the pace and thrillswhen the zombies hit the screen. The special effects and make-up lookreally splendid, with the zombies having their own personalities andtraits. The backdrop and setting of the graveyard, mortuary andwarehouse are generally murky and creepy.

Nothing but pure fun.

3.5/5

I’m quite a fan of the horror/comedy genre, but I found this film ratherdisappointing. There are a few laughs, and the make-up effects are veryimpressive, but overall this just isn’t nearly as entertaining as Evil DeadII, or (strangely enough) Return of the Living Dead II. The film is notwithout merit, but it didn’t seem to me to be the classic that so many claimit is.

This movie ROCKS (as does the soundtrack)! Anyone who is a fan of the"LivingDead" movies must rank this one up there with the original. The mediocreacting does not get in the way of the excellent story (the alive are trappedwhere the dead should be and the dead are roaming where the alive shouldbe!!) and the most excellent make up and effects. As you watch the movieyou begin to pick a favorite character (mine is Spider) which is cool. Forits genre, this is one of the best and should be recognized assuch.

This film is one of the funniest, goriest send-ups of zombie films evermade. It is based on the premise that what happened in Night of the LivingDead actually happened in a hospital in/near Pittsburgh and bodies of theseravenous zombie brain-eaters were frozen and locked in air-tight containersby the army. Naturally some of the bodies were shipped to the wrong placeand our story opens with a new young employee being toured around a medicalsupply warehouse and home of some of these creatures in a dusty, dampbasement for 17 odd some years. Through some comic mishap, one of thecanisters emits a deadly gas and dead things start to come to life. Thefilm is directed by Dan O’Bannon(Dead and Buried), and he directs withtongue firmly planted in cheek as one comic, deadly mishap leads to anotherbigger one and so on. Eventually we have a group of punk kids, the twoworkers from the warehouse and their boss, and a mortician locked up in afuneral home fighting the zombies on the outside as well as some on theinside. To give you an idea of O’Bannon’s humour, the warehouse boss,played by Clu Gulager, is named B
urt and his good friend of 25 odd years,the mortician wonderfully played by Don Calfa, is named Ernie. We heartheir names quite a bit in this dark, obvious homage to Sesame Street. Thefilm has lots of lunacy, incredibly well-photographed suspense scenes, solidacting from a cast of lesser actors, some provocative(albeit needless)nudity as one girl dances on a tomb in an open cemetery, and gobs of blood,gory scenes of mutilation, decapitation, etc…. While the film is verygory, it is not to the point of detracting from the overall effect of thefilm, which is two-fold in making us very frightened and amused. Some greatscenes in here as well, my favourite always being the James Karen farewellscene with the crematorium burner. Surprisingly tender. Karen, by the way,gives an amazing comic performance. Lots of blood, guts, andlaughs!

Return on the living dead in the very pinnacle of a badmovie.

The acting was horrible, the special effects were laughable, the plotsophomoric … All and all … Good stuff when you are looking for alaugh.

This is the movie that you can watch very drunk but still will be able tofollow along because it doesn’t take much *braaaaaaaiiiinnnsss* to view it (har,har)

7/10 as bad movies go.